Electives in Matrimony
by Taygeta
Summary: Spoilers up to "Basic Story". A Jeff x Britta engagement fic. I had to write one before whatever might happen in the finale.


She was 33 and he was 40. Maybe he didn't ask her for the right reasons, but they were never good at "right" by any normal standards.

After the school was saved, everyone was able to focus attention on Jeff and Britta's surprising announcement of getting married. They were all initially openly supportive.

"Ooh! It's so nice to see you two settling down," said Shirley in her cutesy voice. "Not that it matters, but will you be doing this in front of the eyes of the Lord?"

"Interesting. This does fit the standard outline of comedic narrative structure, a natural conclusion of your general antics, but I'm not quite sure how this will align with our rescuing of Greendale," observed Abed.

"Married? That's so great…." said Annie unconvincingly. "Did you guys think about this for...long?"

"Jeff," said Hickey shaking his hand. "Congratulations."

To the side, Duncan told Jeff, "I see that you found a solution to that problem you were having awhile back. Can't say I - uh - saw this coming, but I'm glad for you. Well done."

All, that is, except for the Dean, "Britta?! Britta? Jeffrey, are you sure?!"

"Thanks…?" said Britta in reply.

Amongst each other, however, they were less inclined to keep face.

An emergency meeting was called at Annie and Abed's apartment, comprised of the "Save Greendale" committee sans Britta and Jeff.

"What is this? The 'Save Jeff and Britta' committee?" asked Hickey as he sat down. "I don't understand what's so wrong about letting them just be and making their own mistakes. You know, like normal people."

"So you admit they're making a mistake," said Annie.

"Well...I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that if they're gonna do it - they'll do it. It's none of our business." Hickey frowned, "You know, you guys are such nosy - "

Annie interrupted, "But you don't understand, we've seen them make their own mistakes…"

"Before you were here, they had a year of secret sex," said Abed point blankly.

"It almost ruined the group," said Annie.

Abed begged to differ, "Well, in argument for progressing the storyline, we - as a group - generally ruin the group."

"So you don't agree that we should try and stop the wedding, Abed?" asked Shirley.

"I think Jeff and Britta are inevitable," said Abed, raising a finger. "Just because they're the anti-Ross and Rachel doesn't mean they won't end up together."

"But is it everlasting?" demanded the Dean who then threw his hands up and dramatically leaned down in frustrated Thinking Statue pose. He looked up abruptly, "I just don't want to see Jeffrey get hurt. And we all know that Britta's the worst."

"Is she though?" asked Duncan opening a bottle of beer he found in the back of the fridge, the alcohol required to get through this. He really only came because there were promises of free food. When he saw that it was mostly chips, he was ready to leave until he found the bottle of beer in the back. "Why is she the worst? Is she the worst he could do? Who do we want for him to end up with? Annie - here?"

Annie sat up straighter and covered her chest with her cardigan, "I am not saying that I should be the one he ends up with - I'm just saying that maybe they're taking this too fast."

"Well, how do we know they haven't had another year of secret sex?" said Shirley in a lower voice. "Lord knows, they didn't tell us that first go-around."

"They haven't," said Abed matter-of-factly without any facts.

Annie rolled her eyes, "I asked Britta how long she and Jeff had been going out - that this news was kind of sudden - and she told me that they hadn't been. That he just asked and she said yes."

Hickey chuckled, "I still don't understand the big deal. Sounds like two crazy kids in love and if it ends up being a trainwreck, I still don't see how it's any of our business."

"Well what if it does become a trainwreck? Will we have to pick sides?" asked Annie.

"I pick Jeffrey's side!" The Dean said automatically.

"We know," everyone replied.

"Well, there are other reasons why people get married…" hinted Hickey. "But it's bit outdated a concept…"

"She's not pregnant," replied Shirley, then added, "I asked."

"Well there went that," said Hickey.

Duncan decided to go for deduction: "Okay, let's go - worst case scenario - they get married, it doesn't work out. What happens?"

"Well, we have to pick sides. They might become even more bitter and unhappy as people," said Annie logically.

"...is that possible?" asked Duncan. "Aren't we all just a bunch of bitter and unhappy people in the long run?"

"When did you start making sense? "asked Shirley.

"Someone has to do it. It's usually her," said Duncan pointing to Annie. "But I think her judgment is currently clouded."

Shirley hugged her purse as it rested on her lap, "Mm-hmm."

"So wait...do you think they should get married?" asked Annie, deflecting the observations.

"I think he's 40 and she's in her thirties and it's high-time they make a final call on this marriage thing with each other anyway. It's like we revisit it almost every year," said Shirley. "And speaking from experience, marriages don't work all the time but it doesn't mean we shouldn't try. And it's their decision - not ours."

"So you're saying it's not everlasting?!" demanded the Dean again, effectively ending the meeting that left the group still rather unsure of what might happen next.

* * *

As it was, they didn't have to worry about the next step happening so fast. Britta and Jeff weren't quite sure about their decision-making either, but neither wanted to necessarily break off their engagement.

At one point, they laid in Jeff's bed after a Category 6 - slight roughness, medium tempo. Jeff was on Britta's left side and he reached out to hold her left hand, which Britta still found surprisingly affectionate. He had done this plenty of times before, but it was only recently she could believe that it wasn't just some kind of thing that he did with just any girl. She didn't know yet where exactly this belonged in the spectrum of their sexual math - was it a Category 1 move or did it emerge only after they've weathered their welcomed hurricanes?

"You know…" he said breaching the topic. "I think it might be a good thing if we made this a long engagement?"

She smirked, "Wedding bell jitters, Winger?" Though secretly she felt a sense of relief stirring.

"I just think the group hasn't been taking this news really well."

"You're right," she was quick to agree. "It's probably best for them if we had a long engagement so that they get used to the idea."

He nodded, the roughness of his chin grazing her bare shoulder. She glanced at him and smiled. She liked that he smiled back.

* * *

Two months after he had asked and she had said yes, they hadn't moved any further in their marital status than being engaged. Yet other things changed. Their routine fell into a pattern of taking turns staying at each other's apartments, cooking meals, and joking occasionally about liking certain olive oils over others at restaurants - not that they could tell the difference.

Unlike before, they actually went on dates that they didn't call dates - "dinner", "movie", "see you later." Sometimes they commuted to Greendale together or dropped each other off. It was quieter, but both were relieved that it wasn't as boring as either had always feared because they always fought about dinners, movies, and the specifics of "later".

They were making dinner at home when Jeff said, "I just realized I still haven't bought you a ring."

"That's okay. I don't need one," she said glancing up from the salad she was making while Jeff seared a steak. "Besides, diamonds are an inflated industry that kills for the purposes of a made-up system of wealth."

He laughed, "Who said I'd get you a diamond?"

Britta made a face, "I didn't say you would - it's just so...typical."

"Are you saying that I'm typical?" he asked, as he placed his steak on his plate. "You weren't saying that an hour ago in bed." He raised his eyebrows and grinned widely.

"Careful, Jeff," she said. As they ate dinner, Britta changed the topic to what they were going to watch later on Netflix.

"Not a documentary," he immediately replied.

"You're just mad because the last documentary I chose was actually moving and caused you to volunteer at the Homeless Shelter with me last weekend."

"I was quickly moved to change my mind after Hal the Garbage Collector made a pass at me at the Soup Kitchen."

"He was only welcoming you to the neighborhood," said Britta as she took a bite of her salad. At his silence she resigned, "Fine. We can watch the 80s cartoons they just put up." She ignored his look of satisfaction and added, "You're not going to give me one of those geeky referential rings that Abed's girlfriend sometimes shares on Facebook, are you?"

"No," he said. "And for a woman who doesn't care about having an engagement ring, you sure are pretty specific about what you don't want."

"Shut up, Winger."

* * *

The group almost seemed to forget that Jeff and Britta were a couple, but it didn't mean that they didn't walk on eggshells sometimes, looking out for it in reference. This largely came in the form of hearing them talk about spending time together in the evenings or what they might do over the weekend - "referential backstory" Abed had coined - after or before their committee meetings. When it did come up there was a mixed sense of relief and sadness from everyone.

Hickey and Duncan had grown disinterested.

Abed only cared so much as it related to his ability to script and frame Jeff and Britta in his understanding of their story and structure.

Shirley was happy and thankful, but always threw up a prayer to the good Lord, knowing they were living in sin.

Annie and the Dean were the most ambivalent.

The Dean would greet Jeffrey openly and warmly, but Britta dismissively. She didn't see a slight in it, however, having long understood that she would never be the Dean's favorite. She was used to not being anyone's favorite.

Annie tried to pretend everything was normal - and found it honestly easy to - until she would hear them talk about their life outside of Greendale, the life they somehow had beyond the group. They still bickered during meetings - Britta's random insertions of activism and politics against Jeff's more direct speeches - so she wasn't sure what it was that made them tick.

She would ask Jeff one day three months after they had become engaged. She had to drop by his office to ask him on the progress of one of the committee meeting tasks.

"So...how are things with you and Britta?" she asked as she leaned against the doorframe.

He looked surprised at the question, "Good."

"Just...good?"

"Yes - why do you ask?"

"I don't know. I just thought you got engaged so fast that you guys would have been married by now," she shrugged.

"We thought it was important to take our time with it," said Jeff.

Annie gave a slight laugh, "Well, knowing Britta she could probably throw a wedding together in no time…"

He laughed, "Yeah, I forgot about that."

"You know, if you guys had just gotten married during Shirley and Andre's re-marriage, you could have saved yourself a lot of time and money."

"True," he said. "We almost did get married then. Good thing Shirley stopped us before we made that mistake then."

Annie frowned a bit, "But, you know, you're getting married to her now...is there that big of a difference? And well - technically - I saw what was going on and asked her to intervene."

Jeff paused to look at Annie for a beat and said, "Annie...is this you...intervening?"

She shrugged her shoulders awkwardly, "Not really - kind of - I mean…." She walked over to take seat next to his desk. "Don't you think this is all kind of fast? It's kind of like if you had asked me to marry you three months ago or something." She rolled her eyes at the last sentence, but something in the words made her think there was a different kind of truth to them.

"Annie…" said Jeff slowly. "That's not a fair comparison."

"Isn't it?" she asked. "You've said so yourself that you and Britta never really dated. And for two people who were so quick to get engaged, you're pretty slow on the actually marrying thing. I mean - do you even love her? Or was this all just because we were going to lose Greendale and it was too late to back out?"

Annie, for one, felt good to get these questions off her chest, even if she wasn't sure she was going to get any answers.

"Look..." said Jeff in a tone of voice that made Annie know she was going to expect a Winger speech. "I don't know where this is coming from and I know I don't have to explain myself to anyone, but you're a good friend and you're obviously concerned, so I'm going to try and lay this out as best as I can. But the truth is - I don't know how to lay this all out. It's complicated and it's messy and she drives me crazy. I'm not going to say that this all didn't happen because of a crazy moment either…"

"I knew it!" she couldn't help but interject.

"But it would be a lie - Annie - if I told you it was only because of that crazy moment. Because that's just not true. It could never be true." His words tugged at her heartstrings, in a way that she never let herself think of Britta and Jeff together. He laughed and continued, "If it was true, I'm pretty sure we both would have ran for the hills after Greendale was saved. You know how she and I are."

Annie nodded silently and stood up, "I'm sorry, Jeff. You know, this isn't really my business." Hickey's voice echoed suddenly in her head; she suddenly felt a little older by proxy of understanding him.

He shook his head, "Don't worry about it, Annie."

She left feeling an odd sense of relief and sadness all at once.

* * *

"She what?" asked Britta after Jeff stopped by her apartment that night.

"Well, can you blame her? Honestly - I'm surprised each of them haven't been bombarding us with similar questions."

"It has been months, Jeff," said Britta, tucking her legs underneath on the couch. "I'm surprised we're not getting bombarded by wedding questions. Well Shirley is telling us with her mostly silent judgment and the Dean throws me shade, but that's nothing new." She frowned, "You don't think Annie is still in love with you?"

"You mean has a crush on me?" he asked.

"Sometimes it's hard for women to tell the difference," she replied. "Especially when you're 23. How'd she take it?"

"Fine, I guess, and I told her how much you drive me crazy, so there's that."

"Really? Such strong words of emotion, Winger," she said sarcastically. "Who are you and what timeline are you from?"

"Very funny," he said, but then found that she had slipped her hand into his. He glanced at her curiously.

"You drive me crazy too, Winger."

And somehow that would always be more appropriate than "I love you."

* * *

An engagement ring wouldn't happen until six months after the proposal.

Jeff gave it to her on a Sunday morning. He had gone from his morning run and when he came back she was still in his bed. He told her he was making breakfast, which should have been a sign that he was up to something, but Britta didn't mind. She was glad for the extra sleep after a late shift at the bar and looking forward to the lazy day ahead.

The ring box was waiting for her on her breakfast plate - in lieu of her usual soyrizo.

"Am I supposed to eat this?" she had asked playfully, not wanting to open the box.

"You can, but that's a potentially expensive and not very filling meal," he said as he walked toward her, setting down a plate of pancakes at the center of the table.

She kept on staring at the box, "Is this what I think it is?"

"Depends on what you think it is?" After awhile of her just staring, Jeff sighed, "You know it's not going to open itself."

"I know…"

He sat down on the chair beside her, "What's wrong?"

"This long engagement thing - we've been doing so well...I mean, the group hardly asks anymore about whether we think this is a good idea or when the wedding is."

He nodded, "So a ring shouldn't make a difference...or does it?" At her silence, Jeff became uncomfortable and he reached his hand over the box, "If you don't want this, Britta - it's…"

At his words, she placed her hand over his and realized that it wasn't that she didn't want it, it was feeling a sense of fear she hadn't felt in awhile.

"No, Jeff - don't finish that sentence," she said, feeling his hand underneath her right hand.

"Why not?"

"Because it's not true," her eyes fixated on the plate.

"It's just a ring, Britta," he said reassuringly. "If you don't like it - or don't want to wear it - or whatever it is that keeps your feminism in check, it's okay." He added, "And I promise, there aren't any conflict diamonds or geeky references."

She smiled at their conversation months ago. It almost seemed like a forever ago, but here they still were sitting in his kitchen having an extension of that same conversation.

Britta opened the box with Jeff's hand beneath hers helping, revealing a vintage gold ring with an opal center and two tiny diamonds on the side.

"Jeff…it's beautiful," she said holding the box closer to her eyes for inspection. "You didn't have to get me a ring, you know…?"

"Makes it all kind of real, doesn't it?" he said, reading her mind. "I've had it a month actually."

Britta laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"Jeff, what are we doing? We got engaged in this crazy, crazy way and six months later I get a ring that you've had for a month. Who are we?"

"Are you saying you don't want to get married?"

She shook her head no, "I don't know how to even say that."

It was as if making the decision to ask and to say yes, tethered them in a way that none of there almost-married moments could have.

A glint of gold in the jewelry box caught Britta's eye. It was a gold chain.

"What's this?" she asked.

He shrugged as he stood up get the rest of breakfast, "Figured you'd probably wear it around your neck instead..._Ms._ Perry."

She grinned as she looped the ring through the chain and called out toward him, "Are you asking me to go steady?"

* * *

Time passed. Households were consolidated. The Dean even got used to Britta being next door. Eventually, the group forgot that they were even supposed to get married and Britta gained her degree and a certificate in social work.

One day, Jeff said as he looked through paperwork, "You know, with the money you've been making in your community counselor job, we might want to joint file our taxes. We'd have more tax breaks."

"Just the government's way of ensnaring us all in an institution that's not available to everyone in the country," she replied almost automatically as she watched NewsHour.

"So...okay?" he emphasized.

She shrugged, "Okay."

"There's also this thing where essentially Colorado would recognize us as married," he tacked on.

"Oh," she said and after a few moments, she added, "Haven't we already been?"

Britta glanced over at Jeff after he didn't say anything and found that he was seated next to her, sweeping her up for a kiss. The ring she wore around her neck rested between them, a distinguishing difference between them that set them apart from the couple that became engaged in the one proposal that stuck.

He pulled away from her and said, "Yeah, that feels about right."

And no one was there to tell them otherwise. Even the Dean next door had stopped listening in.

As they continued to kiss, they both realized that they hadn't quite arrived to sanity or completely away from Greendale, but were definitely far from done with each other.

* * *

End. I know this is kind of a mess, but I hope you enjoy it anyway. Feedback appreciated!


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